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Slanty Olympics

by Joe Ross

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1.
You shouldn’t have confronted me in the pantry because it’s New Year’s 2, and I’m angry. You should’ve known the Slanty had eaten my wallet and I would say some things that I didn’t mean. But I like the way your fingers move to make the piano stick off my bass notes, and I feel when your already there when you say, “Woo! It’s time for the Slanty Olympics!” Then the whispers preclude the room; they enter saying, “Let's HB the C in the Y near the river!” I hunker down to spoil the mood by saying, “the River’s god is the ocean. The River’s god is the ocean: doubting the existence as we sometimes do. The jagged rocks scrape along its belly, whispering obscenities as it passes through. Then the smartass trout asks a question: “why do you seek the Ocean, are you alone?” “We are many; we die in droves,” the River replies in a monotone. The trout gets a beacon, and pauses to think – a familiar flash of something new. McPherson’s brook, a worthy cause! – becoming aware of what to do. I turn around and I’m all alone; I couldn’t find the humour in a kicked in door. I turn around and the house is alive like a hundred years of history throwing up for the first time. I like the way your fingers move to make the piano stick off my bass notes, and I feel when you all ready there. You say, “Woo! It’s time for the Slanty Olympics!”
2.

credits

released August 10, 2003

Written and performed by Jowsaf Ross.

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about

Joe Ross Fredericton, New Brunswick

Joe Ross released an EP in 2003, played in Fredericton, and then became a teacher.

After an extended hiatus, he started playing again in 2018. Five years later, despite the brief interruption of 2020, Grid City's Matt Carter wrote, "Joe Ross has maintained a consistent presence on local stages" (2023).
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